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Quotes - Part 2


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Whether the State can loose and bind
  In Heaven as well as on Earth:
If it be wiser to kill mankind
  Before or after the birth--
These are matters of high concern
  Where the State-kept schoolmen are;
But Holy State (we have lived to learn)
  Endeth in Holy War.

Whether the People be led by the Lord,
  Or lured by the loudest throat:
If it be quicker to die by the sword
  Or cheaper to die by the vote--
These are things we have dealt with once,
  (And they will not rise from the grave)
For Holy People, however it runs,
  Endeth in wholly Slave.

Whatsoever, for any cause,
  Seeketh to take or give
Power above or beyond the Laws,
  Suffer it not to live!
Holy State or Holy King--
  Or Holy People's Will--
Have no truck with the senseless thing.
  Order the guns and kill!
    Saying--after--me--

Once there was The People--Terror gave it birth;
Once there was The People and it made a Hell of Earth.
Earth arose and crushed it.  Listen, O ye slain!
Once there was The People--it shall never be again!
 
-Rudyard Kipling
Rule 46:  Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.  -H.S. Thompson
The opossum is a very sophisticated animal.  It doesn't even get up until 5 or 6 p.m.
"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,"  -Lewis Carrol
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.  When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.  I said 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.'  He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'  -Steven Wright
I love to go shopping.  I love to freak out salespeople.  They ask me if they can help me, and I say, 'Have you got anything I'd like?' Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, 'Extra medium.'  -Steven Wright
Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks.  -Dennis Ritchie (about X)
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants.  -Isaac Newton
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.  -Hal Abelson
In computer science, we stand on each other's feet.  -Brian K. Reed
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.  -H. L. Mencken
I refuse to be labeled immoral merely because I am godless.
Calling atheism a religion is like calling health an illness.
It's such a fine line between stupid and ... clever. -Spinal Tap
The lethal dose of cannabis is a 2-kilo block dropped on your head from the 25th floor of a high-rise building. In other words - cannabis can't kill you, it is not a poison like alcohol, and not addictive like cigarettes.  -Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Drugs but were Afraid to Ask
A certain monk asked To-san: What is Buddha? To-san said: Here is hemp - three pounds of it.  -Hekigan Roku
We feel the machine slipping from our hands
As if someone else were steering;
If we see light at the end of the tunnel,
It's the light of the oncoming train.
-Robert Lowell
I have nothing but contempt for anyone who can spell a word in only one way.  -Thomas Jefferson
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really".  -Dave Parnas
Life will not be contained.  Life breaks free.  It expands to new territories, and crashes through barriers -- painfully, maybe even dangerously, but...uh...there it is.  -Ian Malcolm
No one who has read official documents needs to be told how easy it is to conceal the essential truth under the apparently candid and all-disclosing phrases of a voluminous and particularizing report.  -Woodrow Wilson
Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends.  -Joseph Campbell
Now it is time that we were going, I to die and you to live, but which of us has the happier prospect is unknown to anyone but God.  -Socrates' Apology
Everything human is pathetic.  The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow.  There is no humor in heaven.  -Mark Twain
When I was 16, I though my father was the most ignorant ass that there ever was.  But by the time I was 21, I was surprised to discover just how much he had learned in only 5 years.  -Mark Twain
The universe may / be as great as they say. / But it wouldn't be missed / if it didn't exist.  -Piet Hein
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth, / And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings.  -John Gillespie Magee
Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations.  But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern.  A mathematical equation stands forever.  -Albert Einstein
We dance around in a ring and suppose, / But the secret sits at the center and knows.  -Robert Frost
Philosophers say a great deal about what is absolutely necessary for science, and it is always, so far as one can see, rather naive, and probably wrong.  -Richard P. Feynman
Acquired characteristics are inherited in technology and culture.  Lamarckian evolution is rapid and accumulative.  It explains the cardinal difference between our past, purely biological mode of change, and our current, maddening acceleration toward something new and liberating-- or toward the abyss.  -Stephen Jay Gould
Whatever you do, stamp out abuses, and love those who love you.  -Voltaire
If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.  -John A. Wheeler (and you must not be paying close attention)
If I can't picture it, I can't understand it.  -Albert Einstein
You know how dumb the average guy is?  Well, by definition, half of them are even dumber than that.  -J.R. "Bob" Dobbs (Bob wasn't much for math)
You're bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything.  -Donald E. Knuth
Time itself flows on with constant motion, just like a river: for no more than a river can the fleeting hour stand still.  As wave is driven on by wave, and, itself pursued, pursues the one before, so the moments of time at once flee and follow, and are ever new.  -Ovid
Men and governments must act to the best of their ability.  There is no such thing as absolute certainty but there is assurance sufficient for the purposes of human life.  -John Stuart Mill
If nature has made any one thing less susceptible than all others of exclusive property, it is the action of the thinking power called an idea, which an individual may exclusively possess as long as he keeps it to himself; but the moment it is divulged, it forces itself into the possession of everyone, and the receiver cannot dispossess himself of it...  He who receives an idea from me, receives instructions himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.  That ideas should be spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature.  -Thomas Jefferson
It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward.  Ignorance is never better than knowledge.  -Enrico Fermi
I do not feel obliged to believe that that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.  -Galileo Galilei
The farce is finished.  I go to seek a vast perhaps.  -Francois Rabelais
Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.  -Niels Bohr
With stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.  -Friedrich Von Schiller
[It] was the kind of place where they spell trouble TRUBIL, and if you try to correct them, they kill you.  -Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Poor spelling does not prove poor knowledge, but is fatal to the argument by intimidation.  -Gene Ward Smith
It don't make no difference how you say it, just say it in a way that makes sense.  Did you ever meet anybody in your life who didn't know what 'ain't' means?  -Dizzy Dean
The Average Person's Axioms of First Order Predicate Logic:
1. (A => B) => (B => A)
2. There exists an x such that A(x) is true => For all x A(x) is true
3. (A => C) & (B => C) => (A => B)
-Warren Vonroeschlaub
GILB'S LAW #2: Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
There is no mathematics of faith.
The views expressed here do not necessarilly represent the unanimous view of all parts of my mind.
See the happy moron!
He doesn't give a damn
I wish I were a moron
My God! Perhaps I am.
Give me [a long enough lever and] a place to stand and I will move the Earth. -Archimedes (paraphrased)
Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand and I will break my lever.
I suppose if we couldn't react to things that didn't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.  -Hobbes to Calvin
A little rudeness and disrespect can turn an otherwise meaningless interaction into a battle of wills and provide drama to an otherwise dull day.  -Calvin
Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all.  -Sir Winston Churchill
Advertising reaches out to touch the fantasy part of people's lives.  And you know, most people's fantasies are pretty sad.  -Frederik Pohl
Disclaimer: My employers seldom even LISTEN to my opinions.
Meta-disclaimer: Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
My next-door neighbour once told me "I don't believe in God myself, but I am going to make sure my children do".
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.  -Anatole France
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.  -H.L. Mencken
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.  -Emo Philips
The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?"  I said, "I don't know.  You can't see out the other way."  -Emo Philips
Quis custodiet ipsos custodies?  -Juvenal
That is the problem with this rich and anguished generation.  Somewhere a long time ago they fell in love with the idea that politicians-- even the slickest and brightest presidential candidates-- were real heroes and truly exciting people.  That is wrong on its face.  They are mainly dull people with corrupt instincts and criminal children.  -Hunter S. Thompson, Generation of Swine
The important thing is not to stop questioning.  Curiosity has its own reasons for existing.  One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.  It is enough if one tries to comprehend a little of this mystery every day.  Never lose a holy curiosity.  -Albert Einstein
And I have no desire to get ugly. But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.  -Ogden Nash, Seeing Eye to Eye Is Believing
I know of no safe repository of the ultimate power of society but the people.  And if we think them not enlightened enough, the remedy is not to take power from them, but to inform them by education.  -Jefferson
The people are a great beast!  -Hamilton
The people are that part of the state that does not know what it wants.  -Hegel
Americans are the only people in the world known to me whose status anxiety prompts them to advertise their college and university affiliations in the rear window of their automobiles.  -Paul Fussell
I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.  -William F. Buckley, Jr.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is.
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.  -George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.  -Senator Soaper
Democracy is also a form of worship.  It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.  -H.L. Mencken
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.  -E.B. White
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.  -H.L. Mencken
I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating.  -Boss Tweed
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.  -P.J. O'Rourke
Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.  -Harry S Truman
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was shabby and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no steps had trodden black.
O, I kept the first for another day,
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted that I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"
Do not go gentle into that good night. / Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -Dylan Thomas
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.  -HL Mencken
I need a miracle every day.  -Bob Weir/John Barlow
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.  -Thomas Jefferson
Imagination is more important than knowledge.  -Einstein
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
You can get more with a simple prayer and a Thompson sub-machinegun than you can with a simple prayer alone.  -John Dillinger
An Old Discordian Teaching: If you eat a live toad every morning just after you get up, nothing worse will happen to you all day.
Mencken's Law: Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.  -HL Mencken
It is inaccurate to say I hate eveything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for any public office.  -HL Mencken
Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.  -H.L. Mencken
College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students -- there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks.  -H.L. Mencken
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.  -H.L. Mencken
What the meaning of human life may be I don't know; I incline to suspect that it has none.  -H.L Mencken
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.  -H.L. Mencken
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.  -H.L. Mencken
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.  -H.L. Mencken
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.  -H.L. Mencken
Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic.  He fights his fate, often desperately.  He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods.  This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the brave.  It also makes for beauty, for lesser men try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own.  -H.L. Mencken
In brief, she assumed that, being a man, I was vain to the point of imbecility, and this assumption was correct, as it always is.  -H.L. Mencken
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.  It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.  -H.L. Mencken
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.  -H.L. Mencken
An unwarlike Marine is as unthinkable as an honest burglar.  -H.L. Mencken
There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags don't wave in a vacuum.  -Arthur C. Clarke
The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true.  It is the chief occupation of mankind.  -H.L. Mencken
Conjugation of the verb "firm": I am firm.  You are stubborn.  He is pig-headed.  -Dr. K. J. Stavrinides
And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will?  When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others?  When people devoid of whatsoever competence are made judges over experts and are granted authority to treat them as they please?  These are the novelties which are apt to bring about the ruin of commonwealths and the subversion of the state.  -Galileo Galilei
The path of least resistence, it's not just for electricity any more.
Happiness lies in conquering one's enemies, in driving them in front of oneself, in taking their property, in savoring their despair, in outraging their wives and daughters.  -Genghis Khan

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